INVICTUS: William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Invictus is Latin for “undefeated”. Invictus is an inspiring poem that means many things to many people. The death of Lance Corporal’s Pralli Durrer and Rory Malone in Afghanistan last week reminded me of the poem and the quality of “stoicism”. At the age of 12, Henley contracted tuberculosis of the bone and despite his disability, he survived with one foot intact and led an active life until his death at the age of 53. Stoicism inspired him to write this poem. While imprisoned on Robben Island Prison, where he was incarcerated for 27 years, Nelson Mandela (who later served as President of South Africa, and won the Nobel Peace Prize) recited the poem to himself and other prisoners as a way to bolster their spirits, and motivate them to press onward. He felt empowered by the message of self mastery in overcoming adversity. Mandela used this poem to inspire the Springbok Captain, Francios Pineaar to achieve greatness by motivating his team to win the Rugby World Cup in 1998.
Stoicism is conduct conforming to the school of philosophy founded by Zeno, who taught that people should be free from passion, unmoved by joy or grief, and submit without complaint to unavoidable necessity. Stoicism then is the repression of emotion and indifference to pleasure or pain. It is an emotion that us Kiwi’s are probably particularly good at (by our very nature) and one that many military academics and historians believe is necessary for soldiers and warriors on the battlefield.
Self Mastery. This poem means several things for me. Self-mastery is obviously an important theme on my journey of discovery during my ‘kiwicrossfitodyssey’. Especially with regard to being a better athlete, but also as a person. This journey will be filled with many trials, challenges and difficult moments, and thankfully so. It wouldn’t be an odyssey otherwise and would be rather boring! How will I react to those events and challenges? Will they give me wisdom and strength? Will they teach me patience and self-control? Will they give me modesty, empathy and respect for others? Perseverance and determination? Whilst I won’t always be able to control what happens on this journey, I CAN control how I think and react to these events. As with life in the wider sense, good can often come from something that seems bad or hard at the time. Just like a CrossFit WOD. Opportunity is often hidden in adversity. The hard part is taking these challenges, understanding them, learning from them, and seeing the opportunities that abound. This takes self-mastery. I have a long way to go and much still to learn.
Paleo – food choices
Choice. This poem also reminds me that despite every day being a challenge and not knowing what the future holds, it is up to me, and me alone to face the challenge head on and forge my own way. As “Master of my fate and Captain of my soul”, the choices I make every day shape who I will be for that day. And, the person I choose to be most frequently will become my legacy. My future. Can I possibly change my future and realise my potential by changing the way I think about life and changing the way I approach the challenges every day on my journey? Perhaps. Just perhaps if I remember that regardless what the road has in store for me, “I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.” A quote from Will Smith that I keep on my phone is also a good reminder of this for me:
“Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must lose in order to gain. Sometimes, some lessons are learned best through pain.”
My first “couch surf-ing” hosts Myeesah and mango in San Francisco
Reflecting on New Zealand. Over the past couple of weeks my thoughts have been returning to New Zealand a lot. I find myself comparing things, places and people here in the USA to New Zealand and reflecting on this probably more than I should. Being away does make you appreciate some things that might be taken for granted back at home though. Such as the freedom to voice opinion and question others. Mostly I find Americans too polite to do this. Or maybe that’s just part of our psyche, our culture, they way we roll as Kiwis? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not 100% sure at this stage, but it all depends on the context I suppose and like they say….”Do In Rome”. I’m missing some close friends and family too, but I think that’s just because I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and have mostly been on my own so far. As my trip progresses, I will be meeting lots of new people, sharing new experiences and will probably have less time to reflect and look back. These experiences will no doubt leave have an impact on me and shape how I think about the future. Still, some days it hasn’t stopped me thinking and wondering what my friends are doing back in New Zealand and pondering the thought that they are moving along with their lives on different paths and that I’m probably hardly missed at all. Other days, that reflection doesn’t worry me in the slightest and I’ve been too busy getting on with it to think back.
Stoic Warriors in Afghanistan. But, when I checked the NZ News on stuff.co.nz last Saturday and saw that NZ had lost two soldiers killed in action in the Bamian, that was certainly cause to reflect and look back on my time in the military and my time spent in Afghanistan. Would I know any of soldiers killed or injured? What would I have done and how would I have reacted in the same situation? How would I have dealt with the death of a comrade? It came as quite a shock having only recently left the military and knowing quite a few of the personnel deployed in that area. It’s a very sad and sobering reminder of the risks that our service men and women face every single day to serve New Zealand’s interests overseas. Our servicemen and women are trained to deal with the type of threats in that particular area, but it occurred to me that they are probably not quite so well prepared for dealing with the loss of a close friend, colleague or team-mate whilst deployed. How people would deal with that and rationalise their emotions in this type of situation would depend on a whole range of factors including upbringing, sensitivity levels, personality type, intellect, and education to name a few. To me, the ability to employ stoicism would be valuable. And whilst I didn’t know Pralli or Rory personally, they were both part of the New Zealand Defence Force family and it is heartening to know that the NZDF will provide whatever support to the family of those that were killed and injured and support all of those who were involved in the incident. And for those involved in the incident, as hard as it must be to go through it, there will no doubt be something to learn and an opportunity to grow from having dealt with the loss and adversity. It is also a stark reminder that we can never be certain what tomorrow will bring. And so, if we are not living, making the most of the present moment and spending time with the people who mean the most to us, then we probably need to re-think why that is.
kiwicrossfitodyssey 